Corrupt
New Governor
Squeezes
$6 Million
out of
OC Radio
Post Manhattan Reporter
January 8, 2007
OnlyChoice
Radio Network, a Post sister-company, has announced it will
graciously pay $6 million in “blood money” to quiet slanderous
allegations of payola by the highly corruptible Governor-elect Eliot Spitzer.
“OC Radio has not admitted guilt, nor has it been fined by the government,”
an OC press release explained. “We’re voluntarily making a
charitable contribution to get a certain attorney-general-turned-governor off our back. Next
time we’ll make more campaign contributions and save ourselves the
trouble.”
Payola, something an IJI subsidiary would never do, is the act of radio stations taking money from record companies
to play their artists’ songs.
“Basically, any time you hear a horrible song on the radio - you
know, even dumber than the lowest common denominator, like Nickelback,”
said Spitzer, “chances are, its record label paid to have it played.”
Other artists Spitzer discovered were having their songs pushed with payola
include Jessica Simpson, Celine Dion,
Now that the $6 million has been paid, Spitzer expects the radio industry to be able to self-regulate with the same success that the diamond and oil industries have enjoyed.
“Now that I’ve been elected governor, I’m sure they’ll comply,” the evil Spitzer chuckled. “At least, until the re-election.”
IJI owner P.F. Jones issued a rare public statement:
"Make no mistake, Spitzer will pay."
Spitzer's suit alleged that WABS, the OC's flagship station in Manhattan, had developed schemes to formalize payola, like the late night “CD Peek-a-Boo” and the “Play-Music-for-Record-Companies’-Money-Challenge.”
"Really? Is payola still illegal?" asked dumbfounded WABS station manager Hal Lowery. "Don't listeners know they're constantly being sold something?"
mistake-
Spitzer
will pay.'
-P.F. Jones
BEING PROBED
FOR PAYOLA
(NO BULLSHIT):
Clear Channel
ABC
Entercom
Infinity
(now CBS Radio)
